People don't swim in dirty ponds for a good reason

Picture a dirty pond. Filthy, swampy, gross. It does nothing good for you to jump in and try to swim there. Well, I swam there today. Not literally, but in my head I did. I will explain the analogy here...

So to start off, I have been working really diligently working on my weaknesses on and off the runway. One of which has been my mentality and I have come a long way. I have done a lot of practice in this area through reading, meditating, writing and most importantly executing in practices or higher stress situations.

Performance under pressure and executing outside of my comfort zone is still where I struggle the most. My meets have been better overall, but they have still been lacking their fullest potential. This is 100% my fault. I jumped 4.30m today, and have jumped over 14' 6-7 times already this indoor season out of less than 20 times ever in my pole vault career.

Although progress is positive, I know that I am significantly underperforming to what I am capable of still. Also, it is positive the changes and progress I have made so far this year. However, it has been painfully slow and I am ready for more. I feel as if I am wearing a pair of shoes that is just old and have been outgrown... and I am ready to step into that new pair that awaits.

I know I am a better vaulter and I am ready for it to show. I also cannot let myself get away with the 3 run throughs I had in warm-ups and 1 at 4.50m. That is pretty out of character for me since I have decided to go for it this indoors. Today, I felt a wave of emotions and thoughts that seemed difficult to get a hold of. It was unexpected to feel a little off and I had a poor initial reaction to a few thoughts about not feeling great in my approach. I felt unsteady in my run and pole drop and lacked full confidence at times.

Today was the first day this year that doubts, fear, and anxiety hit me harder than expected. I used my knowledge in thought control to battle these negative thoughts. Going down a path of listening to the wrong voice of doubt, fear, or anxiety can be described as jumping into a swampy pond. Why do it? You don't want to swim there and it's messy going too far. When you get out you have to get all the mud off and it's just an extra use of energy that's not worth it if you want to do well.

There are a few valuable lessons from today:

1. Talk all you want off the runway. Feel as confident and brave all you want. It is helpful, but at the end of the day, you are what you do when it counts in a high pressure situation. You have to implement that confidence and positivity every jump in a meet.

2. If you don't feel great or confident, you better change that real quick before you jump in the swamp. You control how you show up and how you react in situations. Choose courage and your highest potential. Shut down any negative thoughts, doubts, fears, or anxieties right away if they pop up. Address them with rational thinking and put your thoughts into what you want to do - not focusing on what could go wrong. Remember that going to the swamp sucks. You don't want to go waste your time there.

Building a strong mindset is not something that happens overnight. You would think it would be as simple as one click, but unfortunately good things take time. Our strength builds slowly over time in the gym and our bodies transform over time with consistency. The mind works the same way. My mind has grown much stronger this year and will continue to.

I am holding myself accountable to showing up with confidence 100% of the time. I train too hard to fall apart for a few jumps. Every jump counts. I have prepared too much to not let my light shine the day of the test. It doesn't serve me or anyone. Fear is a stall tactic that is not worth losing opportunities to get what you want.

Discomfort is okay. It means you are growing into yourself. Surrender your fears. They have no power over you. Stay in control of your thoughts and your actions. Do your best and you may surprise yourself.